Course. I said I`d answer you all.
As I wrote in my last text, I believe that the answer to one of Life’s Big Questions – whether the grass is greener on the other side – is to be found within yourself. And that that is a bummer, of course, – but nevertheless, that`s how our creator has done it. However, I`m not a complete asshole, so the least I can do, is share the wisdom I have `collected` – upon these fields of life. Or on Mother Earth`s crops, if you will.
And my wisdom, goes as follows;
It is basically a lot greener, on the other side.
But then notice “basically”. This `little word` is not placed there, by accident. You might feel like you just stepped into an accident. Maybe was the one to blame for a specific accident (which involved severe damage, I believe death even), -but this word, my friend, is no such thing as an accident.
These so-called “inbetweeners”, or “pragmatic particles”, as they are called in more technical terminology, do not contribute to the content of the statement in an utterance, but have functions on the interpersonal and textual level. And it`s the interpersonal plan we are now going to focus on. According to “Store Norske Leksikon” (Norwegian encyclopedia/lexicon), these interpersonal functions can “express the speaker’s subjective attitudes to the content”. In short, your father’s, more or less carefully selected inbetweeners, will be quite influenced by his “grasslands through life”. Really, it is a question of whether he has “burned himself” in the past. Burned heavily, -or not burned at all. Whether he carries around so-called “heavy baggage” – or not. It’s simply about what he has in his “backpack”. You see, most likely, his “luggage” will be involved and affect his take upon this Godforsaken Saying , -about the grasslands. And therefore, also in what way he will mentor the next generation, when they are facing difficult choices (e.g. his poor daughter (editorial staff wishes to inform that this father-daughter relationship/case is purely fictional and thus deviates from reality (as goes for blogger and her real father. Birthfather, if you will))).
I think the important thing here is to be aware of the messenger’s baggage. And I think it’s important to be aware that there are several variations of the term. The expression, I mean. So, really, you do best by choosing the expression that suits you best (!)(isn`t that great?!). Have you just stepped out of a good relationship, just because you wanted to check out whether the grass was greener on the other side, but ended up being hit, for instance, -you may say (to people): «The grass is not greener on the other side». No small, pragmatic words are needed here. But if you want to emphasize. Make it count. You can say: “The grass is REALLY NOT greener on the other side.” Maybe, even, with an exclamation mark, at the end.
Let’s spin a little further. For someone who has just left what was, previously, a “loving relationship”, but what is now reduced to “a relationship” – and who finds someone he or she experiences “great love” with (and who has equal values, and children in same weeks, of course) will be able to say (to people): “The grass is sooooooo much greener on the other side.” Possibly, if the person was born before 1980, he or she will be content to say; “The grass is greener on the other side”. Also, the person in question, may in some (extreme) cases say; “The grass is ALWAYS greener on the other side !!”, – but this statement is usually just seen amongst people who`ve had really light luggage, throughout life.
The point is, it’s hard. It is difficult to listen to anyone but yourself. Besides, there are some significant factors that you can and should take into account, – when making choices based on grass. How much are you willing to water, for instance? Have you, in fact, watered at all? What about your partner? Has he or she contributed with the watering? And if you haven`t watered AT ALL, maybe you shouldn`t complain, if your grass turned a little brown- or yellow-ish? Do you realize that even newly grown grass needs watering? (if it`s not of plastic, of course. That would open for a completely different text). Personally, I have a pretty loud inner voice (and I know when I have watered enough). My voice sure knows how to express her feelings (even when no one`s listening- hence, female gender of the voice). Oh yeah. She`s a real charmer. Without any scruples she wakes me up in the middle of the night. Whines, nags, -and goes on -and on -and on. If there`s anything “unsettling” on her mind. If your voice has become loud (and louder over time), there is probably a reason for it. And then, you will have to find out, then. Whether or not you want to water more, – or roll out a brand-new lawn.
And then. To you that wrote to me. Asked me if life maybe wouldn`t have been easier without a boyfriend. “Maybe not nicer, but easier” (quote). To you, I simply say; «Love is my religion. I could die for that” (J. Keats).
And if you still don`t know what to do. If you still doesn`t feel that you got the answers you were looking for. Maybe this can help.
«The grass is often greener on the other side. And sometimes it’s not »
-Anonymous, “Kvinneguiden” (Online Women`s Chat Forum)