Background: Aftenposten published the following article on 13.05.21; “Mom is a conspiracy theorist. I feel so powerless.” What follows is a fictional response, where I change perspective – in my attempt to give the children of this vulnerable group a voice. There is a warning about extensive use of irony.
Dear “anonymous” – you who wrote the column “mum is a conspiracy theorist. I feel so powerless”
It is true that it has been over a year since you wrote your post, – and I can only imagine how the situation probably has gone from `bad to worse’, for you now. I therefore want to apologize that it has taken me so long to respond. Something I obviously didn’t need – but felt an immediate urge to, after reading your post, at the time. There have been many reasons why it still took me this time – and the main reason has been that your text made such an impression on me that I needed the time up until now, to properly digest it.
The reason why your post almost “spoke to me” is because my mother is also a conspiracy theorist. At least in the eyes of many others. Now, she may not have many theories herself, but she at least believes in the narrative that applies to a good number of them. It may seem to me that your mother believes in almost all the conspiracy theories ‘out there’, and I can understand that it feels extra burdensome for you. I can imagine that she will then not only be labeled as a ‘conspiracy theorist’, but perhaps also as ‘particularly naive’, and that must of course be tough. You write yourself that your mother believes that the corona pandemic was planned, that she does not want to take the vaccine, that she refuses to wear a mask, that she thinks the earth is flat, that Donald Trump actually won the presidential election, that she is convinced that we are fighting against the deep state and a pedophile elite that drinks children’s blood and that Joe Biden is actually dead, – and it’s an awful lot to take in. For you (and probably for her too). I have to admit that I probably have it a little easier than you, as my mother does not believe absolutely everything that is claimed. In any case, she is not ‘convinced’, as you mention that your mother is.
I can literally feel your pain, and not least your frustration, – and I’m glad you had the courage to outline what you (probably still) is going through. And I assume, many with you. Soon you won’t be able to open a newspaper or a news site anymore – without the word conspiracy theorist appearing, and that only shows the extent of it all. And to what extent it is now considered a social problem. So therefore I would like to praise you for giving us the opportunity to gain an insight into, and understanding of, our fellow human beings’ experiences and innermost thoughts and feelings, at the moment. And in your case, also an insight into what you envision the solution to be in the long term. In this sense, you appear to be very “hands on” and it strikes me that you are not only characterized by powerlessness and grief, but you also seem very resourceful and solution-oriented. That`s nice. And as both children of conspiracy theorists, I really relate to what you write, and I have to admit that I have thought about you a lot. Among other things, how old you can be. Because not everything is as easy to deal with when you are a child, as opposed to when you are an adult. I myself am a student in upper secondary school and that means, in a way, that I have “a foot in both camps”. I have noticed that you consistently write “mom” in your post. “Is mom dangerous now?”. “Can’t you just say you’re joking, mum?”. I therefore immediately thought that this must have been written by a child. Not least also on the background of the accompanying sketch/photo, made by illustrator Arne Nøst. Where you can see a family holding each other’s hands, and also a small child (the size of the illustration varies, however, depending on where you open the chronicle. Mobile, PC, etc.). But when a little further on in your text you wrote the following; “one of the most painful things for me is that I now dread leaving my child alone with his grandmother” I understood that you must be older than I had initially thought. Well. It doesn’t matter much. It really only means that even more people can recognize themselves in your story. Which is nice. With the fact that you almost cover the entire age range.
Then I would like to be able to give you a little encouragement, or perhaps a “strategy” that can help you on your way forward. And it’s about how you can, hopefully, choose to see your mother. At least that’s how I see my mother. I see a fearless and curious woman. Someone who gets into things and asks questions. My mother may be different, but also exciting. Of course, not everything do I agree with, or think is true, – but I respect her views and she respects mine. Now I obviously do not see my mother as dangerous, as you allude to in several places in your post, that you do with your mother. Still, I can’t quite grasp in what way you consider her dangerous? Is it because the situation reminds you of losing someone to Alzheimer’s? as you yourself describe it as. That you fear she might forget the oven or forget the kids back in town, for example? In any case, it must be frightening if, to you, it feels as if she is gradually losing brain cells, as is the case with the brain disease Alzheimer’s. Besides, you must have been alarmed to, yourself, read that there is “no longer such a thing as a harmless conspiracy theory”. In regards to the chronicle you referred to. Written by associate professor of political science, Tanja Ellingsen, at Nord University. It scared me too, if that’s any consolation. And also the article by NTNU professor Asbjørn Dyrendal (“Just being exposed to conspiracy theories makes us more cynical and more inclined to think that our own criminality is okay”) makes everyone fear such an influence. And then the fact that your children should end up in such a situation must clearly be felt as untenable. And I really think this feels unsustainable for you. You also write that if you had been born today, you would certainly have been denied vaccines and medical treatment by your mother. Among other things. And that you hope the child protection agency had intervened. It is for me, horrible to read, and I can hardly find words.
You are calling for action, – and I can understand why you would do that. And I think it’s wise. I have, personally, always felt that group therapy (preferably in a circle) can be a good method. In many of the movies I’ve seen, this has seemed to work well. Now, I don’t know if it was exactly what you envisioned, for your mother and you, but I wanted to mention it anyway. You wrote that medication was probably out of the question anyway, as your mother opposes all such things (and doesn’t believe in medical science either). Well. I can only hope that things get easier for you in the long run, – and finally I would like to sincerely wish you the best of luck with your relationship. I hope my input can be of some help, – not least considering how diligent you have been with your chronicle. It really deserved attention.
Anonymous, upper-secondary-school student
(translated by the help of google translate)