Grefsen- Lars lays in my lap, and within the next ten minutes, I should have pressed the call button.
I can`t believe I`m doing this. It feels like being twelve again, -and having to call a boy for the very first time. Or maybe that`s the whole problem. At twelve, I called boys all the time, actually. I called them, -and broke up. On behalf of everyone else`s. Because they didn`t dare to. So, there I was, breaking up, – or asking for a break. Thinking back, it was quite sophisticated, really. And allowing oneself a break now and again, isn`t always such a bad thing. It has worked for a fair number of adult couples I know, as well, – myself included. It might not have worked as sufficiently for me, as for them, however, – but it sure extended the relationship. Nonetheless, these guys I called, some decades ago, didn`t seem overly excited for the term “break”.
“…huh…I guess she just doesn`t have the courage to break up …”. “Are you sure it`s really a break, though? – and not her trying to break up …?”.
So, there I was again, in my dad`s office, door closed, – doing my best to calm and soothe- and most importantly; collecting all sorts of reasons why this, in fact, was a good thing (me-time. She`ll regret, you know. Act nonchalant and hard-to-get. Whenever she`s around, make sure to behave happy and joyful. You know, with this, new opportunities will transpire, and who knows where it can take you!). The point is, this was totally okay things to do, then.
At twelve.
Not thirty-four.
Yet, here I am. Preparing to call up some boy on the phone. It now being wireless and all, doesn`t do much difference either, I`m afraid. It`s ten-to-one, and I`m finding myself in Lunde Elementary School`s parking lot. It`s chaos outside, with cars criss-crossing the entire area. Thereon, the perfect distraction from what I`m about to do. Not to mention, it`s practical, – since this is where I`m supposed to pick up the kids, exactly one hour from now. Mummy`s just going on a date first. In the parking lot.
With her phone.
So. Grefsen- Lars. I see. You just wanna talk on the phone first, huh? See if there`s any brain. If I`m funny. Or boring as hell. Find out if you`ll bother meeting up- in real life- a-t a-l-l. I get it, of course. No need to dress up. Shower. I get it, and that`s the thing. It`s like a job interview. A job- interview, – without any facial expressions (…). Well now, if job interview is what you want, – job- interview you`ll get- of course.
“It`s Lars! »
(I mean. That alone, is so vivid. So, this is not at all like managing house phones, like we did, back in the days. The odds are like zero to a hundred that it is Grefsen-Lars, indeed, answering…)
All of which makes me laugh. Of course.
“Haha. Okay. Hi! So, this is Julie…! But I guess you just saw. Hehe”.
“Haha. Good point. All the same, it`s nice to know. And who knows if I`m a saved contact, yet!”.
“Course, you are. You`ve been “Grefsen- Lars” for quite some time now. Don`t think about it. I have it all under control!”.
“Okay. Haha. I see! So, I guess there are some Grünerløkka- Geir and Holmenkollen- Håkons walking around just as we speak now, then?!”
“Evidently! There`s not a district I haven`t been to. However, I do believe you are my first Grefsen …!
“Well, hey! That`s great news! Really great news! Haha. So, does that mean you`re in Oslo quite often then? Or are you just a super- efficient dater? ».
And there we were, getting to it. I told him about the years I`d spent in Oslo, how I now was the proud owner of both a house, – and a garden. I told him about the oversized pool I`d bought for the children- which had taken me three days to fill, – and which now, at the end of the season, r-e-a-l-l-y needed to be emptied (!). He told me about his 4-bedroom flat, which in reality was much too pricey (and had one too many bedrooms, for him and his two children, -which of course, in theory, would be nice, but when living in Oslo- meant that you`d be needed to survive on noodles, Monday to Friday) but which he`d gotten to satisfy his ex -and mother to his children (which I partly liked. And partly didn`t).
Then, suddenly, the school bells rang (!), so I flew out of the car and ran like the wind, towards the classrooms, – while he tried his best finishing off a story.
“You go! I`ll call you tomorrow and tell you the rest!!!”, Grefsen- Lars shouted through the phone, laughing.
“Great news!” I shouted back.
And just like that, my phone date had ended.
Just as quickly as the last hour had gone by.