It really should have been like with dresses.
Principles of complaints.
“Was your product as expected, miss?”.
No, it really wasn`t.
And I just don`t get it. Why would you ever wanna use pictures of yourself, looking like a complete stranger? Not only was it ten years ago. 30 pounds and ten hairstyles ago.
He literally sent his neighbour!
Maybe he regretted
and sent the neighbour instead.
It`s shallow, of course. All of this which has to do with appearances and looks.
It`s a relatively sad concept that it should make any difference at all.
But it does!
At least on my part, and probably a couple of others`.
I`m sure plenty of women would go, if they`d known that the neighbour was coming.
And I could have been home with Mad Men.
Man Men and cheese doodles.
Instead, I had to shave.
Do my make- up.
Blow-dry.
Wear a thong.
I mean. Nobody wants that.
At least not for the sake of any neighbour.
Anyhow. I was sitting there, feeling optimistic and rather expectant. Occasionally, some becoming candidates were walking down the gangway, but unfortunately, they were engaged elsewhere. Sadly, they weren`t for me.
Then, there was this guy. Well, no, I thought to myself. He`s not my guy, but a real sweetheart, though.
Smiling so bright.
It`s probably the waitor. No, he`s probably a guest. He`s probably excited about something. I`m guessing he`s sitting on the table over there.
But then, he came closer.
Tiny and chubby
and that`s fine, of course.
Usually, I like those small- scaled.
My date for the evening, however, wasn`t anywhere near that.
I remembered the photos vividly.
So, I looked past him. Picked up my phone.
«Hello», someone suddenly said.
It was the tiny, chubby one.
At my table.
«Oh, yes. Hello», I replied. While sitting.
«This wasn`t such a bad idea, now was it?” he continued, holding out his hand.
«Marius».
I jumped to my feet, and shook his hand. Said something about getting indolent from the heat, and laughed my heart out.
But on the inside, I cried.
I yelled and shouted.
Why???
Why???
WHY ME?!!
While talking about how nice the weather was, I was imagining the pictures.
While flicking through the menus, I studied him.
Maybe he`d eaten him up. Stolen all of his dates.
Normally, I was attracted to manly men. Strong jawlines. Beard. Broad shoulders and plenty of testosterone.
This one had more hormones than I.
Nothing wrong about that.
But it was all wrong for me.
Obviously, I`m not on a high horse, here. I should probably have had more hormones myself.
So, who am I to talk, huh?
I mean, there`s hardly any boobs. I speak loud.
The doctors had me mistaken for a boy.
Apparently, I`m on some sort of a scale myself.
I guess I`m not your typical womanly woman, but then again, who`s really?!
Anyhow. We are attracted to whatever we are attracted to. Some like feminine men. On the inside, or maybe the outside. Maybe both.
Others might have an obsession for tall men.
Protection aspects and such.
-even while having alarms.
It`s not always logical, but it`s hard to change.
And then, there`s those who fall for peoples` personality.
They make the rest of us look like scum.
The truth is, they`re just lucky.
“Personality” became their thing.
I guess someone had to get that too.
I wish I had gotten it.
I would have been married decades ago.
I`d had Netflix, Viaplay and HBO.
I`d had a station wagon and been to every possible car service.
It sure is tempting, but Mother Nature is strong.
Chubby didn`t stand a chance.
And what`s worse; he wasn`t funny either.
There were hours of courtesy talk.
And a hell of a lot of coffee.
The good news, though, is that I made plenty of to- do- lists in my head.
Things to sort out in the house.
Birthdays you don`t want to miss.
Stuff you have to buy.
Clearly, the evening wasn`t a total waste.
And the dress fitted perfectly!
It`s a keeper.