I guess I have some clearing up to do.
I wouldn`t say I`m deeply offended, but clearly, one could hope for more people taking their time to read the about- section. You know. This “about us” page which you now can find on most websites out there. And you`ll probably know it best in English, as the term “about us”, and not so much in Norwegian, which in that case would transform to something like “om oss”. To make it perfectly clear, in Norwegian it would either be, the already mentioned “om oss” or “om Prospera”, – if the business were to be called Prospera. But all the time I happen to be a simple blogger, it didn`t feel quite right adorning oneself with the usage of “us” – and certainly not “me”. About ME. No. I live in Norway, after all. There are certain ways. There are actually laws (even though unofficial ones) making sure no one should ever think anything of themselves. It`s called “janteloven” and you just don`t mess with it. So, I left it at “om” (about, that is). Not mentioning the people AT ALL.
The idea isn`t of course that it should be so much about me. On a personal level, I mean. What I eat. The things I like (we have the texts, don`t we?!). However, off the record, it`s actually Indian, and not Taco, – as some people might think. My brother-in-law, for instance, has called me “Taco-Julie” for quite some time now, and it`s all getting a bit tiring, to be honest. I mean, I was in my 20s. He was a married man. There`s a big difference! Anyhow. In this about- section I have tried to communicate some important stuff (surely, the overall importance could be debated. If not of global significance, at least there`s of some relevance here). Let me copy and paste!
«35-year-old spinster, situated in Skien, Norway. At least for now, I will let the words speak for themselves. However, I may add, the texts in this blog will go back and forth in time. Like life itself. And no. This is not fiction. Fortunately, and unfortunately.”
Now, this happened to turn up in English for some reason. Give me two seconds and I`ll have it in Norwegian as well. Let me copy and paste!
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Ah. That`s right. I have never actually translated that specific page, or post, if you will. Maybe this is all on me, then. Maybe I`m the one to blame. You probably think I have done this deliberately, but I really haven`t. It`s the old, preoccupied mind, I guess. Anyway. It`s written in English that “the texts go back and forth in time”. Yes? Point is, I would demolish people if I were to write in the present tense. And there`s really no point of people knowing precisely who people are. The people I`m writing about, I mean. My focus is on the stories, not the specifics. For obvious reasons, yes. With that said, I don`t feel that I demolish people per se. Nonetheless, personal protection to some extent surely is in its place. A no- good boyfriend soon could turn into angry boyfriend if he was being exposed- while still being listed on my Facebook. Truth to be told, very few of my men have made it to Facebook at all. They, more or less, exist only in my head. They`re not make- believe, – that`s not what I mean! (but imagine being there…(sad-emoji)). What I mean is, they never quite made it to Facebook- shots or Sunday walks. There really are few proofs.
The reason why this is so important to me, is because there`s been some confusion. More than twice I`ve gotten texts like “read your post. How did the date go?!!”. Or like when this dad, all of a sudden, picked up his kid from playdate, – because I needed time to get ready for my date (…). A date which practically ended in 2017… Also, the the other day, I got a text from a guy saying he`d ask he out, if it wasn`t for the fact that I already was madly in love,- with someone else. But I`m not in love at all!! Just very, very tired!! It`s hardly the same.
Going forward, there`ll be a lot of screenshots. On Facebook, Instagram- and God knows where. That was 2017!!! I`m very single now!!!! This was my ex!! The new one is great!!!! I don`t have any rashes now!! It was last week!!! I promise!! Bit like that. So, now you know. You are prepared. One more thing. My sister thinks my blog posts are too long, which they are- obviously. But that`s the nature of not having a man, I guess. I guess it has something to do with it. Too little comes out. You get an overload. But I`ll meet you halfway and do like the rest of them.
I`m gonna tell you how much time it takes. Every single time.
Beginning with this (which takes approximately 11 minutes- depending on your reading skills. I am a slow reader, and pretended not to have read this, ever before, – and it took me 11 minutes). Surely, I can`t make any promises about having less on my mind in the future. It all depends on what happens, of course. But I`ll provide you the numbers. Sure. Every, single time. Because I can`t promise daily selfies, or hotpants- pictures, anytime soon (but one never knows). The words (most likely) will be in focus. Words and stories, – and the people in it.
Peculiarities of life.