Tinder- scroll

I almost die.

And still.

All that time spent.

That`s the spirit, isn`t it?

Against all good sense.

Surely, it must be me. There must be something seriously wrong with me. I mean. I`m not at all attracted anymore.

Not to a single one.

No one.

It`s gone so far that I`ve needed to ask myself. Do I look in the wrong places? Am I off target? Could I possibly find myself in the unfortunate column? Maybe girls could be the big thing? Maybe it all would be sorted out, then.

But then again.

I`m crazy about men.

I`m old enough to know.

When driving, my eyes are everywhere.

I see them.

I see them all.

But, WHOOSH-

They`re gone. And off they went.

So where did they go?

Where are the guys I`m attracted to?

Where`s the sweets on the streets?

Where are the blokes without muscles? The guys with no text? Where are the satisfied ones? The cheerful and happy ones?

I mean. Christ.

Everyone on Tinder looks depressed.

They look like they`ve had it.

They`re annoyed. No doubt about it.

They HATE the hunt.

Well. I`m upset, too.

But I keep it to myself.

I sure don`t frame it.

It`s definitely tiresome, and yeah, depressing as hell. But the thing is, I don`t allow it to make such a deep impact.  I don`t think I`m any closer in getting a mental disorder, truth to be told. That alone, however, should count as quite the achievement. And it`s really comforting as well.

At least it doesn`t do me any harm.

But nothing is happening, though!

So, what`s the deal?

What am I doing wrong?

I`m sure they`re terrific, but I should want them, shouldn`t I? That`s still a thing, isn`t it? Or are you supposed to give in, take what`s left, in your mid 30s? Keep it from looking strange.

End the misery.

I`m pretty sure they`re all talking by now.

Oh yeah. She`s a handful, mind you. I guess she`s really difficult to live with. And she`ll probably be worse off, in a couple of years. You know, these things don`t get easier. I mean, she`s nice and everything, but something must be off. Clearly, there must be something wrong with her. Or maybe she`s a lesbian? Maybe she just doesn`t know it yet?

If this was back in the old days, I would have been stuck at the farm.

It would`ve been me.

Evidently.

I`d be the one to watch them.

The elderly.

On that account, I should consider myself lucky. There might not be any man at my presence, but at least, I don`t need to peel potatoes all weekend.

Moisturize legs.

Goodness me.

Maybe I should go for a handsome one. Even if that`s all he`s got going. Even though, that`s all he knows how to.

A cranky, good- looking sort of a guy.

So I can make- out, at least

In the meantime.

I`m so looking forward to summer.

Like, really.